Fast forward a few years to university - I wasn't playing tennis anymore and was beginning to gain some weight. I still didn't have my relationship with food or my body under my belt, but I thought if I started strength training it would fix it. I bought different cookie cutter programs, and used my minimal knowledge to get by. While going to the gym somewhat improved my mental attitude, it was really the only thing I felt that I could control. I began spiralling and became so controlling with my health that it was actually unhealthy.

I constantly looked in the mirror and hated what I saw. I restricted calories intensely, and would stress about going to social settings if I meant I would be in a situation with food that wasn't good for me. The constant restriction in the day led to binge eating at night, and I felt like I had to "earn" my food. If I ate a lot the night before, I punished myself in the gym the next day.